Busy Beyond Measure

Hello all! I apologize for not blogging in such a long time. I'm rounding off the end of week 2 of my new job and things have been so busy! Not that I'm complaining: I feel incredibly blessed to have a good-paying job in my field of study that both sharpens my testing skills and gives me incredible experience working with the public. However, the downside is that I sometimes feel like I am running around like a chicken with my head cut off! Hurdle number 1 in my current weight loss goals is being on the go. It's hard to find good, healthy meal options when you are busy, stressed, and running all over town. On my better days I have brought my own lunch (yay to the fact that my boss got a fridge in our office!) and gone to places like Ruby Tuesday (with their fabulous salad bar) and Chik-fil-a (with its yummy, yet points friendly chicken). On my worst days (today included), I have opted for the fast food/comfort food aspect. Today Kyle and I tried the new Cook Out in Spartanburg. If you are like me and have lived in South Carolina your entire life, then you probably aren't familiar with cookout, I'll explain. Cookout is a place where they make delicious hand-pattied home-made tasting burgers, like you would have at a cook out and they pair that with lots of delicious side items like fries, hush puppies, onion rings, and end your meal with a fantastically rich milkshake that could be one of about 40 flavors. Sounds like nutritious eating, doesn't it? Well, I know, I know. I ate Cook Out and totally used up the weekly points for this week, but that is perfectly fine. I will eat sensibly for the rest of the week.

Another reason I have not blogged in a while is because I definitely fell off the weight loss wagon this weekend when I spent the weekend with Kyle. I mean, about a three pound fall off the wagon, which is super discouraging. I am still at my 20 pound mark, but not by much. The wrong choices are so easy to make especially when you are around people who are not dieting. However, both Kyle and I have been trying to eat better for our health and Monday afternoon we started going to the gym together. Now being a fat girl for life has made the gym a scary place for me previously that is only ventured into with close trusted friends and great suspicion. Well fear no more! I am so pumped about mine and Kyle's workouts! I thought it would be weird or even embarrassing to go the gym with my boyfriend because of all the jiggling and sweating and weird grunt noises that happen at the gym, but really Kyle is a huge encouragement for me (after all, he is also sweating and grunting, but not nearly as jiggly). He is very patient with me showing me around the machines and reminding me to stay hydrated and pushing me to do that one more set of hand weights or five more minutes on the treadmill. I have never been this excited about working out before. Plus, after working out twice so far this week, I feel great! I have more energy in the mornings and my arthritic knee is feeling much better and less stiff.

Needless to say, this girl is jumped back on that wagon. Well... maybe not jumped... Climbed, perhaps?

Until next time,
BB

God Gives Me What I Need

Well, today was the first day on my new job, thus I got a good night's sleep, had a good breakfast, picked out my clothes the night before, had some retail therapy with my Mom, and ate the yummiest lunch ever. What did it amount to? My first client for testing not showing up. Sad day. BUT, nonetheless, today has been a great day. I feel relaxed about my new job. I had plenty of time to review my tests and set up my office (and, yes, make a list of what I would like to add to my new office). Tomorrow I feel like I will be significantly less nervous to administer that first test (for pay, yay!) than I was today when I was waiting on my client to show up. Also, another good point is that I do adore my boss. He is the nicest man and makes me feel competent and at ease in a new job situation.

On to the weight loss, I weight myself tomorrow morning. I am afraid that I might have gained a pound or two and the culprit is my insatiable appetite that my period gives me. Yes, I know, talking about periods is gross, but when you're a woman who is trying to lose weight, it is public enemy number 1. It makes you tired/lazy, it puts you in a bad mood, and it makes you want to eat everything in sight (especially if it is fatty or has chocolate.... or both). Luckily, mine is about half over, and by the weekend I should be back on track. Mind you, I'm not eating like a hellion, just probably eating a bit more than I should, like having 2 Skinny Cow cheesecakes ice creams instead of 1. But, it goes back to my tried and true motto about dieting: if you deprive yourself, the diet will be hopeless, and it will make you want to cheat. And eventually, you will cheat. So give yourself a bit of room.

Tonight is also one of my favorite nights because DANCE YOUR BUTT OFF comes on tonight and I absolutely love that show. GO ADAMME! I've been enjoying watching this season because I feel like I can relate to the show's contestants: they are people who have put on weight (or like me, have always been heavy), they're ready to make a change, and they love dancing. Adamme, my favorite contestant, has already lost 75 pounds and he looks/feel phenomenal. I am proud of him and hope he wins the contest. However, each of the contestants is talented and has worked hard. It is nice to know that when you are going through something challenging, like personal weight loss, there are others out there who can encourage you and also prove to be exemplars.

Until next time,
BB

Keep On Keepin' On

Well, I checked my weight again this morning and I've lost another 1.8 on the three day diet, so that's definitely exciting. I finished it up yesterday and now I'm back counting Weight Watcher points (and I celebrated that with a lunch of couscous and sauteed veggies - I miss couscous when I can't have it). Now that I've passed the 20 pound mark, I'm feeling renewed and my motivation has gotten another boost!

I wrote a few days ago that I went clothes shopping. Clothes shopping still discourages me. Even though I've lost almost 25 pounds, I am still not seeing that big of a difference in the way clothes fit. I'm seeing some, but not much. And this is simply because I have so much weight to lose and I've been carrying this weight for so long, that it will take a lot to get it off me. So because of those reasons, I am trying not to get too bogged down in clothes sizes. Every pound that I drop is another step closer to being a healthy weight (even though I still have many many more steps to go).

I really am excited about exercising. I know that it is hard with the weather being so miserably hot and with me being out of a job, I can't enjoy gym membership yet, but soon those things will pass. For now, I'm making a pledge to find small ways to be more active around the house, including walking up and down stairs (multiple times), staying on my feet more, and using my hand weights daily. Pretty soon, I'll start getting paychecks from my new job (I start on Monday!) and then on to Zumba classes. :)

Until next time,
BB

The 20 Pound Mark

Current weight: 321.4

Yes, folks that means I have lost 22.6 pounds since the beginning of my diet! YAY! For me, the 20 pound mark is the first big step in weight loss. Then comes 50, then comes 75, and then (God willing) comes 100! So I am excited at this step in my journey. I have promised myself that when I lose 50 pounds I am buying a pair of TOMS wedges (since I don't fair well in heels at my weight).

My arthritic knee is still giving me pain problems, but I'm trying to move it as much as possible and I am also staying hopeful that, as my doctor promised, the more weight I lose, the less pain I will feel.

Today I am going clothes shopping, which I always hate. I always feel like nothing ever fits me the right way or that something accentuates my tummy or makes me look pregnant or just makes me look.... well... round. I'll let you know how it goes. Hopefully being down 22 pounds will help!

Until next time,
BB

Revisiting the 3 Day Diet

Today is Day 1 of this round of the 3 Day Diet. My mom and I haven't done this diet in about a month (because it does become a bit miserable), but we've both reached a plateau that we will surmount with exercise and a few more rounds of the three day diet. Supposedly, you can lose up to 10 lbs on the diet, but I've always lost between 4 and 7 (which is a-okay with me).

So, three days without snacking, eating only what the diet tells me to, and no chocolate, rice or potatoes. Here we go!

Until next time,
BB

Disappointment and Being Human

I definitely ate something last night that I should not have. I am disappointed in my choice but proud of my restraint. Kyle and I went to the Mellow Mushroom last night and we ordered a large Hot Potato Pie. It tasted fantastic and I enjoyed eating it so, but it could not have been good for me: pizza with potatoes, bacon, cheese, onions, ranch, and sour cream. I limited myself to two slices, which was good, but I definitely wish I had ordered a plain cheese pizza with veggies (small). Kyle commented that eating food like this all the time was the reason that we are overweight, but eating this food every now and then is only a minor indulgence. That at least made me feel a bit better.

In the past, restraint and "minor" indulgence was not a part of my life style. If I wanted a Hot Potato Pie one night and chocolate cake the next day, then, by God, that what's I did! It's hard to switch out of that mindset and to realize that is good for your body and what isn't.

I'm still learning every day. I'm still failing and seeing where I went wrong every day. But I'm proud for trying.

I'll end my entry today with a quote from Eat Pray Love (The book I'm currently reading). I don't agree with everything Elizabeth Gilbert believes in or everything she says, but this quote resonated with me, especially pertaining to dieting:

"Could I have survived myself, by myself? I don't know. That's the thing about human life--there's no control group, no way to ever know how any of us would have turned out if any variables had been changed."

What if I hadn't eaten the pizza? What if I'd never been overweight at all? What if I lost weight five years ago instead of now? We'll never know. All I know is what I can do for myself now.

Until next time,
BB

Back Home

I'm back at home after a wonderful stay with my brother and sister-in-law in Dillon! The verdict is in: I gained 0.2 pounds this week. Honestly, I am relieved. I did the best I could to make good decisions while on vacation (mini-veggie burgers instead of a steak with mac and cheese, nachos with chicken and veggies but no cheese at Mexican restaurant) but I was not religously counting my points like I normally do and (as is usual with my darling big brother) there was a lot of late night snacking. So, though I am always bummed I did not lose any weight this week, I am happy that I did not gain more than 0.2. Now, I'm back on track, counting my points, and ready to keep on losing.

Let me get on my soapbox about one thing: Zaxby's Birthday Cake milkshake. REALLY, Zaxby's? Could you make a milkshake that more epitomizes excess? This milkshake looks wonderfully delicious and pitifully bad for you. It is made from birthday cake ice cream, sprinkles, and CHOCOLATE whipped cream (yes, I said it). I was so tempted to get one this weekend seeing as how there is a Zaxby's in Dillon and all Kyle could talk about is how much he wanted one. I did not give in, though. Let me just say that milkshakes like this never "spring up" when I'm not dieting. I feel like it's another way to test my willpower and self-control. There was a time last summer when I was doing Weight Watchers and I was going through a drive-through at McDonald's to get my dog a cheeseburger. When I get to the window, the woman is holding a bag with the cheeseburger in it and a large McFlurry with Oreos. She starts to hand them to me and I tell her that I only ordered the cheeseburger, no McFlurry and she proceeds to say "That's okay, just go ahead and take it, no charge." REALLY, Mcdonald's? REALLY? That never happens to me when I'm not counting points. What did I do? I took the McFlurry and ate it, counting some of my Weekly Points for it. Ahh, the irony of the Universe.

I'm going to lunch with my new boss today and I have no clue where we are eating. I am a girl who loves a plan, so I'm nervous about where he will say we are eating and what I can find there that is both tasty, filling, and low in Points. We shall see.

Until next time,
BB